I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My liver just had a heart attack.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
