i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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