I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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