Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
