I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
