We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
