Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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