quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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