You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
