Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
