just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
