i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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