I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
