dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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