Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
