shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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