i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
