Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
