Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
