gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
