so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
