i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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