omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
