So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
