Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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