is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
