she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
