I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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