respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
