just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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