you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
