You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
