Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
