It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
