I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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