I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I need water and some morals
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
