We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
