girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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