her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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