farters have to be the big spoon...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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