I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
