i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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