So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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