Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
