Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
