glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
