***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
