im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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