Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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