I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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