My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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